#TIMYGetGoing: Emotional crutches, denial and pride

If I had the power to reach inside the television screens to bump the heads of both Sir Dad and Mama Cass, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat. And this friends, should serve as an indication of how the episode tonight went.

awwThe LOWDOWN: After overhearing Basti’s troubles under the in-law’s roof, Val offers Basti her friend’s condo which she could get for them on the cheap so that they can start their new life together in the privacy they deserve. Basti discusses it with the wife but Iris is wont to leave the nest because her mom is having work and financial troubles. Bad timing. Meanwhile, Ali has his hopes dashed that Sir Dad has accepted his homosexuality when he brings in an old friend’s son to teach him how to be macho.

Let me just say this. I get that Mama Cass is a loving mother who has been through a lot just to raise her three children on her own. I get that. But I have an issue with her being unfair to Iris and Basti because she is using her daughter as an emotional crutch at Basti’s expense.

Mama Cass knows that it is impractical to have her married daughter and her husband under her roof when there is not enough space for them. She knows that her daughter needs to fly the coop in order to fully learn what married life is all about. I get that she is having separation anxiety because Iris got married so soon, but the fact of the matter is she is not demanding that she stay at home because she is worried about Iris. She wants Iris to stay because of her own abandonment issues, and she is guilt tripping her daughter into staying. She claims she does not want to be a burden to her daughter but more than the financial issues is the emotional turmoil she is causing her daughter. If she was a mother who wanted what was best for Iris, she would have set her own issues aside to give Basti and Iris the best shot at a successful marriage.

ikawnaTita V is also another person who is using Iris and Basti as pawns in a power play she has with Cass. In order for Nestor not to go to Cass’ house, she has devised a way to get Basti and Iris out, but only because she saw Nestor as a prize that she has already won. Whereas when they were in Greece she sincerely was concerned about what happened to Basti, now she only saw him as an extension of Nestor. And she couldn’t care less about Iris. And these poor unfortunate innocents truly believe that Val actually cares what happens to them. Poor poor babies.

istiIt broke my heart to see Iris as she took in Basti’s excitement over the condo and to have to ask him to slow down and think it over. She acknowledges Basti’s sacrifice and all of his efforts are not lost on her. Yet at the same time, she’s also a good daughter who also wants to be a good wife and the fact that she’s caught between trying to please her husband and not hurt her mother is a dilemma that countless others are surely relating to. My heart broke for Basti and for Iris. Truly.

Sir Dad on the other hand, still stubbornly saw Ali’s predicament as a disease which was really sad. I felt for Ali — the way he was giving in to his dad’s demands so that Sir Dad could save face in front of his friend even though Sir Dad’s barbs were humiliating him. It spoke volumes about the love and respect he had for his father, even though the same parent would not accept him for who he is. For this, I would really like for Stephen to be gay, just to shut up the general once and for all.

Getting married at a young age is a challenge in itself, but its made even more difficult by the fact that the people surrounding them, who are supposed to be providing them with guidance, are thinking about their own selfish motives above the welfare of these newlyweds. This makes me root for Iris and Basti even more. And while this only promises to be the tip of the iceberg when it comes to problems that IsTi will face, I am liking how this couple is responding to the challenges so far. I hope that they will survive whatever hurdles are still left to face. They deserve to be happy. Period. No erase.




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